And I cried..

I was having a chat with my friend over on msn, and I just threw everything in mind and heart out in the conversation. I have finally threw it all out without any plan.

The truth is that I feel so tired trying to fit into the English world which I did not come from an English background and family. Sometimes I felt so left out and I am just too tired of fitting myself into it. However, my friend has assured me that I improved a lot since when he first knew me.

Yet, I still feel helpless sometimes when I can't manage my words well enough to express what my real feelings are. I have tried so hard and yes, I'm still trying.

I was told that I do not have to worry about fitting in, because I still get along with people easily. I am glad that I have come so far to maintain how I treat all the people I know and will know in the future. I was told about how people who barely know me well think about me which touched my heart, and I cried.

I guess I was having a real bad and down mood after getting myself into some difficult situation, and all the mixed feelings came up to me, all together at once. And I faced all of them in the conversation just now, at least threw them all out despite keeping it to myself. Now, I am still grateful to have great friends and family around me to support me. I just have to remind myself at difficult times that I am still a nice person after all in order to encourage and motivate myself to be a greater person.

I am real tired now of being the person that I am right now, but I promise to keep it up and try to be better and love everyone around me.

p/s: 2 more hours of sleep before I begin another monday

*still miserable*

Loves,

Soohui