And I cried..

I was having a chat with my friend over on msn, and I just threw everything in mind and heart out in the conversation. I have finally threw it all out without any plan.

The truth is that I feel so tired trying to fit into the English world which I did not come from an English background and family. Sometimes I felt so left out and I am just too tired of fitting myself into it. However, my friend has assured me that I improved a lot since when he first knew me.

Yet, I still feel helpless sometimes when I can't manage my words well enough to express what my real feelings are. I have tried so hard and yes, I'm still trying.

I was told that I do not have to worry about fitting in, because I still get along with people easily. I am glad that I have come so far to maintain how I treat all the people I know and will know in the future. I was told about how people who barely know me well think about me which touched my heart, and I cried.

I guess I was having a real bad and down mood after getting myself into some difficult situation, and all the mixed feelings came up to me, all together at once. And I faced all of them in the conversation just now, at least threw them all out despite keeping it to myself. Now, I am still grateful to have great friends and family around me to support me. I just have to remind myself at difficult times that I am still a nice person after all in order to encourage and motivate myself to be a greater person.

I am real tired now of being the person that I am right now, but I promise to keep it up and try to be better and love everyone around me.

p/s: 2 more hours of sleep before I begin another monday

*still miserable*

Loves,

Soohui

Read more...

Clueless

Frankly speaking, I did not expect for this kinda feeling..

It's getting stronger as I met him again..

A lot of thoughts coming into my mind which I can't even stop any of them..

It's again something that is not easy to tell..

It's special..

Meanwhile, to my lil' not so surprise.. it seems to be another person with that kinda feeling..

Thus, I decided to keep it to myself..

But, it's hard.. It's very hard..

I have no idea what to do about it..

Again, miserable day...

On the other hand, I'm glad and grateful for all these..

It's getting very early for me to hit the sheet,

before I sign off from my lappie,

I wanna send out all my loves to everybody!! < 3

Loves,

Soohui

Read more...

Brandon Ho

*likezzzzzz*

DOPE!! XD

Read more...

He remembers..

Oh well...

Just a quick one..

This is causing me a miserable day..

The one I thought would at least remember a lil'.. He can't recall...Maybe haven't read that msg yet..

The one I never expect him to remember.. He remember!!!! OMFG!!!

Alrighty, thank you so much for it!!

At least it brighten up my day and yea....conversation.. :P

Lovely 40~

Love ya 40!!

Love you guyz xoxoxo

p/s: class starts tomorrow...hope for a good one..

Read more...

Lost iPhone..Lost Part of myself..

Can't imagine that continuously I have to write about something that makes me upset..

It seems like I really do not have anything happy recently.. I mean.. for the current moment..

I believe that things will get better..at least, bit.. Please.. Oh puh-lease...

It was 7th of February.. Do not feel like counting how long I have been using iPhone..

It was always mentioned and reminded by mummy, that this is THE 21st BIRTHDAY gift from daddy..

even though had it way earlier than my exact birthday..

It was really a gift to be treasured..

Have been wanted it for so long.. After some struggling period..

And, finally persuaded daddy to pre-order it from Maxis..

I was not like other people who anticipated and so the looking forward to it till getting it as soon as it arrives..

Yes, although I've been thinking of it every single day..maybe not..once every week then..

However, it has safely reached here.. And the greatest thing of all, I did not claim it from Maxis yet..

First was because finals for Diploma was close, and plus daddy is not here to claim the phone..

So, oh well..leave it for about two weeks before I managed to get a touch on it..Just a single tap on it..

After I got it, I was pretty taking good care of it..

It was like my little baby.. I have even dreamt about dropping it hard on the floor.. And I swear that was the nightmare I had for it..

I have been trying my very best to protect it till my birthday celebration..I have officially dropped it once..but not too hard as what I have dreamt about..

Still, it cause me heartache just like a strike to your heart that stop the beating..

Couldn't help much..

And and.. 7th of February has marked a very not pleasant day for my iPhone..

Due to the lost.. that cause me much more than just a heartache..

It was a LOST that I can't describe with mere words and not to even mention about my action..

Still could recall that my friend complaint about my iPhone with 0 game, 0 extra apps..

The very next day I gotten myself a lot of games and apps, especially the Lomo thingy that I love much about..

I have just used them and warmed up myself for not even 3 days..

And I was not any familiar with the games and apps yet..

And not to forget, I was only playing the games an hour before I lost it to kill boredom & time..

Or better saying, to accompany me..

I could remember so clearly that I have put it back to my bag..

And I just couldn't find it after a while..

There's no sign of me leaving it on the table or anything..

The part of my bag was opened..

Until today when I tried to recall, I had slight memory of people banging me..

Coz it was really crowded compared to other days..

Apparently, CCTV system does not help you much in this kind of case in Malaysia..

As they will tell you that the CCTV system is down..

And I seriously do not know why are those systems always down when you needed them most..

I was really stoned and do not know what to do about it..

Asked Forever 21 staff, there were no phone passed to them from customers..

CCTV system not working..

Thus, I went to Maxis Centre..

Asked them if there's anything I can do about it..Such as blocking the phone from others to use it..

The answer that I got from is you can only call the Customer Service to suspend the line..

And it doesn't seems to give me an answer whether I am able to block the phone from usage..

Oh well well..what a happening thing before my cny..

I was really helpless, upset, frustrated and full of anger at the same time..

I kept swearing and scolded the person who steal my phone..

And now..I started to think in a different way..

Maybe I owed this person something in the past life.. Now that I have pay back..

Thus, I will really pray for this person to have a great life ahead..

Yes...I think I should..

But, I really do miss you..my dear iPhone..

Missing the fact that I couldn't remember stuff without you..

Missing the fact that I have contacts saved in you which was not saved in my address book on lappie..

Missing the fact that I need you so much to share my joyful moment and upset matters..

Missing the fact that I need you so much to keep me accompanied..

Missing the fact that I can't do any syncing anymore with the phone..

Missing you~!

Some told me it's better than I got robbed and hurt myself..

Some told me your own safety was much important..

Some even told me it's actually a sign which try to tell me it's time to go back to the basics..

Just use some nokia 2210 or something..yes, Funny..!!!

Anyhow, maybe this is the small lost that I have to bear with in order to create a good karma for better things to happen..

I shall go to the police tomorrow and lodge a report..

Time to ring Maxis Centre doorbell again to see what they can do for me..

Whether they can help to trace or block the usage of the phone..

Also, how to go about the plan we have signed for the phone..

Miserable..Oh Miserable..

Still, I will have to face all these and bear with all these problems..On my own..

Before signing off, shall I wish for a better day tomorrow? Oh puh-lease..

Love,

Soohui

Read more...

Not doing well enough..?

Just an upset post for today after so long..

I was so busy with work and finally I have managed to get off from work and a break before college resume..

I have spent almost a week for the preparation for speech, scholarship interview, clear some payment that has to be made and etc...

At first it was as bright as I thought I will manage to receive an aid from college to continue degree with a 50% scholarship for tuition fee.. Right after getting to know that their budget are tight, there are still plenty of students applying from other courses.. However, surprisingly even students from other colleges trying to enroll in degree here get to apply for this scholarship..

After all, now I'm starting to feel bad that even I have worked so hard for a better result in order to be qualified for the 100% scholarship.. I am actually not even close to a 50%..

Finally today, I have received a call from college informing that I will only be receiving a 30% scholarship for the first 2 semesters..

Oh and...I was really stoned.. I do not know how to react, to be exact..

Again, budget was tight to benefit more students..

Apply PTPTN loan to cover another 70% ? I was expecting a 50% to cover...

A tense expression is all I can get from my dad's face..

Sorry, I did not want that to happen as well..

Again, I was wondering.. Was my result not well enough to get the 50% scholarship or I was not doing well enough during the interview in order to get it..

I guess I'm really not doing well enough... Sigh..

p/s: back to work again tomorrow..

Love,

Soohui

Read more...

and once again he charms..

It has been quite some time since I last saw and witness his play..

Tonight, I had it for real..

And what I can say is, he still charms as before with his guitar on..

What I have seen tonight had recall back when the first time I met this special person with his irresistible charm..

And that was THE something which draw my attention to him and the way he plays..

It attracted me to watch him with my full concentration on how he indulged himself with his guitar and put in all his soul, all blended into his play..

I don't think I would have more description for him and I am really speechless and doubtless with his skill..

A person with his full passion into something that he loves and that explains it all..

I do not want to miss this charming guitar person..

With all my sincerity wishing him all the best in what he is in..

Loves,

Soohui

Read more...