Being Emotional Only

I read back my blog post written this morning about 5am and I found that I was being too emotional. I guessed I have frighten some of the people who cares about me, regardless of friends showing concern over on FB or even mummy called up after seeing the FB status (mummy is getting in-ner,haha).

I had think over it again and I was not complaining about fitting into the English world actually. I was just expressing how I felt from a Chinese background person turning into the English world slowly, that's all. Because I always wanted to strive for the best, I guess I am pilling up a lot of stress towards myself and I am worried that I can do well. Thus, I will have this kind of feeling. I am afraid that I might offended and cause misunderstanding towards my English background friends. But, I'm okay and I'm cool with you guyz. No worries at all about it, I still love all of you

Speaking about being emotional on previous blog, I guess there are times when you just have to release something out from your heart which you have kept it for too long. It is not healthy at all that you keep stuffing unhappy emotion into your heart and mind, even to yourself. It is fine for you to release all these once in a while. (but not too often, :P) This is why we must have tension release session for oneself. =)

Sometimes, aromatherapy might help to calm you down or the easiest way is to speak to a person, regardless whether you're close with that person. At times, it is easier for you to express your true feeling without trying to hide any emotion in front of people whom you do not know well. And of course, it is also good that if you can speak to your good friends and family. They might not be able to give you enough words of comfort or even advices that you need, but they are able to lend you their pair of ears which is far good enough than others.

Speaking about I got myself into a pretty difficult situation, I guess I have calmed down and had a thought about it. Maybe I should just take things slowly and go with the flow, I am still a rational person after all even though I might not be able to control how I felt towards it.

Thus, I would like to share with you guys that sometimes when things get on your nerves, or your emotions are all rushing up to your mind, you just need time to calm yourself down. Do not let your anger or bad emotion control you because things will get better after a while. There are many ways and definitely there is a solution to problems or any matter.

No worries, friends. Speak to me if you need a pair of ears, I can always be your listener and share your feelings. I got your back! =)

LOVE YA'LL !!

* Shout out to Leroy and Doughboy for yesterday's conversation, much loves!!

Loves,

Soohui

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And I cried..

I was having a chat with my friend over on msn, and I just threw everything in mind and heart out in the conversation. I have finally threw it all out without any plan.

The truth is that I feel so tired trying to fit into the English world which I did not come from an English background and family. Sometimes I felt so left out and I am just too tired of fitting myself into it. However, my friend has assured me that I improved a lot since when he first knew me.

Yet, I still feel helpless sometimes when I can't manage my words well enough to express what my real feelings are. I have tried so hard and yes, I'm still trying.

I was told that I do not have to worry about fitting in, because I still get along with people easily. I am glad that I have come so far to maintain how I treat all the people I know and will know in the future. I was told about how people who barely know me well think about me which touched my heart, and I cried.

I guess I was having a real bad and down mood after getting myself into some difficult situation, and all the mixed feelings came up to me, all together at once. And I faced all of them in the conversation just now, at least threw them all out despite keeping it to myself. Now, I am still grateful to have great friends and family around me to support me. I just have to remind myself at difficult times that I am still a nice person after all in order to encourage and motivate myself to be a greater person.

I am real tired now of being the person that I am right now, but I promise to keep it up and try to be better and love everyone around me.

p/s: 2 more hours of sleep before I begin another monday

*still miserable*

Loves,

Soohui

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Clueless

Frankly speaking, I did not expect for this kinda feeling..

It's getting stronger as I met him again..

A lot of thoughts coming into my mind which I can't even stop any of them..

It's again something that is not easy to tell..

It's special..

Meanwhile, to my lil' not so surprise.. it seems to be another person with that kinda feeling..

Thus, I decided to keep it to myself..

But, it's hard.. It's very hard..

I have no idea what to do about it..

Again, miserable day...

On the other hand, I'm glad and grateful for all these..

It's getting very early for me to hit the sheet,

before I sign off from my lappie,

I wanna send out all my loves to everybody!! < 3

Loves,

Soohui

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He remembers..

Oh well...

Just a quick one..

This is causing me a miserable day..

The one I thought would at least remember a lil'.. He can't recall...Maybe haven't read that msg yet..

The one I never expect him to remember.. He remember!!!! OMFG!!!

Alrighty, thank you so much for it!!

At least it brighten up my day and yea....conversation.. :P

Lovely 40~

Love ya 40!!

Love you guyz xoxoxo

p/s: class starts tomorrow...hope for a good one..

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Not doing well enough..?

Just an upset post for today after so long..

I was so busy with work and finally I have managed to get off from work and a break before college resume..

I have spent almost a week for the preparation for speech, scholarship interview, clear some payment that has to be made and etc...

At first it was as bright as I thought I will manage to receive an aid from college to continue degree with a 50% scholarship for tuition fee.. Right after getting to know that their budget are tight, there are still plenty of students applying from other courses.. However, surprisingly even students from other colleges trying to enroll in degree here get to apply for this scholarship..

After all, now I'm starting to feel bad that even I have worked so hard for a better result in order to be qualified for the 100% scholarship.. I am actually not even close to a 50%..

Finally today, I have received a call from college informing that I will only be receiving a 30% scholarship for the first 2 semesters..

Oh and...I was really stoned.. I do not know how to react, to be exact..

Again, budget was tight to benefit more students..

Apply PTPTN loan to cover another 70% ? I was expecting a 50% to cover...

A tense expression is all I can get from my dad's face..

Sorry, I did not want that to happen as well..

Again, I was wondering.. Was my result not well enough to get the 50% scholarship or I was not doing well enough during the interview in order to get it..

I guess I'm really not doing well enough... Sigh..

p/s: back to work again tomorrow..

Love,

Soohui

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and once again he charms..

It has been quite some time since I last saw and witness his play..

Tonight, I had it for real..

And what I can say is, he still charms as before with his guitar on..

What I have seen tonight had recall back when the first time I met this special person with his irresistible charm..

And that was THE something which draw my attention to him and the way he plays..

It attracted me to watch him with my full concentration on how he indulged himself with his guitar and put in all his soul, all blended into his play..

I don't think I would have more description for him and I am really speechless and doubtless with his skill..

A person with his full passion into something that he loves and that explains it all..

I do not want to miss this charming guitar person..

With all my sincerity wishing him all the best in what he is in..

Loves,

Soohui

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New Start

It has been awhile since I last blog..

This is obvious as I have abandoned my previous blog for more than 3 months..

My previous blog has decided to demotivate me as it became difficult to load and I am only able to blog at odd hours..

Moreover, my fellow readers *eventheresonlyafew* are unable to even load the basic html of my blog..

Thus, I have decided long ago to shift here..

However, it took me quite some time to finally renovate and set up this blog for my proper writing..

Well..to be exact, it was 10 months ago since I started to build this up..

On and off, I paid much effort to set up and too I left it half way when I have no idea how to..

As the first wish of mine to start having a proper blog with proper writing, language, grammar and vocabulary..

I wanted to improve my writing skill in whichever way when I first wanted to have this blog..

First intention was to be and look sophisticated.. *yesyoumaylaughatme*

Anyhow, I hope I can maintain my proper grammar and language as long as I can..

Of course, I might just use some abbreviation or shorthand or *myowninventedlanguage* as I wish..

You know, blog is always what I wish to express..

So, my mood and feeling at that point of time do matters and may strongly influence the way I write..

Enough of parts and bits on how I get over my xanga and I am finally here..

I wish to have more quality and meaningful writing over here..

And I am officially saying 'Hi' to my new blog..

At last, a new start..

Hoping for a new start in life too..

Loves,

Soohui

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